Lessons We Learned from Our First and Second Homes

Q: Now that you’re in your third house, I’m sure there are things you’ve learned about budgeting, decorating, house hunting, etc. having been through the process a few times now. Would you ever consider writing a post about what your first and second house taught you? -Alison

A: Absolutely. Here’s what we learned from our first two homes and how those lessons shaped our choices in this third place. Experience tends to sharpen priorities, and our earlier houses helped us understand what’s worth splurging on, where to save, and which features make a house feel like home. Below are the main takeaways, organized for clarity.

Spend strategically: not too much, not too little. Looking back, we likely overspent in our first house and were a bit too frugal in our second. Our first kitchen remodel leaned toward higher-end materials and hired labor, while our second focused on careful DIY savings. Both approaches produced results we liked, but they taught us balance. For this third house we plan to follow a middle path: save on labor when practical by doing DIY projects we’re confident in, but invest in higher-quality finishes that will last and feel luxurious in daily use. In short: prioritize materials and durability, but cut costs where labor can be handled well on our own.

Bring back the cozy. We moved from a small, intimate first home to a much larger second house because we needed space. That extra room was amazing for growing our family, but after a while we missed the warm, tucked-in feeling of our original living room. This time, we wanted the best of both worlds: rooms that feel cozy and layered, yet still offer enough space and functionality. Our current home delivers a comfortable living room, slightly larger bedrooms, and multiple bathrooms—so it feels both intimate and practical.

Create openness where it matters. Airy, flowing spaces remain important to us, but openness doesn’t mean obliterating every wall. We’ve learned to open rooms thoughtfully: widen doorways, connect kitchen and dining, and preserve sight lines without losing the sense of a cozy room. One key goal in this house has been to finally connect the kitchen and living room in a way that supports daily life—entertaining, cooking, and family time—while still maintaining defined areas for relaxing and dining.

Make floors a priority early. In our first house we replaced and refinished floors throughout, and that investment made a huge aesthetic and functional difference. We regret not doing the same in our second house, where scheduling and logistics kept us from tackling the floors. That taught us to address flooring early on. In this home we prioritized refinishing and updating hardwoods right away because good floors transform a space and save hassle later.

Pursue easy outdoor access. We value outdoor living and wanted it to be seamless with daily routines. In prior homes, getting from the kitchen to the grill or outdoor seating required navigating through interior rooms, which limited how often we used the yard. This house has a large deck on the same level as the main living area, which made outdoor time feel effortless and encouraged us to use it more. Simple circulation choices—doors that open onto patios, level transitions from indoor to outdoor—make a big difference in how much you actually enjoy exterior spaces.

Practice patience: homes evolve slowly. One of the most important lessons is that meaningful home transformations take time. In our first house we expected to finish major projects in months, but it took years. Over time we learned to embrace that slow evolution. Thoughtful, deliberate changes—those made with time to plan and save—often result in houses that feel considered and personal. Now we enjoy the journey: living in a home while it takes shape, making choices that will last, and allowing the house to grow with us.

These lessons have influenced how we prioritize renovations, allocate budget, and design spaces now. They’ve helped us strike a balance between comfort, function, and style. There are certainly more small lessons we’ve picked up along the way, but these are the big ones that guided our decisions this time around. How about you? What past living situations—renting, shared housing, living with family, or living abroad—have shaped what you want in a current or future home?

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As a little Friday bonus, here are a few active forum topics and a reminder that this week’s giveaway winners were announced.