Over the years of writing about home projects, readers sometimes ask about my family — how many siblings I have, what my childhood was like, and so on. I’ve always described it as an unconventional childhood, in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who separated when I was very young, a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born. That meant two houses and a lot of happy bouncing between them.
I remember once getting teased at school about my parents being divorced. I shrugged it off and said, “I have two houses and you only have one — I get double the holiday presents.” Somehow that line shut people up and made me feel like I’d won. Looking back, I still think it was a clever response.
Later, when my dad remarried, I gained a half brother, Adam, who is eleven years younger than me. You may recall him from an embarrassing family photo moment from my teens. Family life kept evolving and expanding, and it always felt lively and full.
When I say I’m the oldest of five — and the only girl — people usually ask who the other two are. The story is that my Aunt Kay Kay, my mom’s sister, moved in with us along with her two sons, David and Darius, when my brother and I were very young. At the time Daniel was three and I was six; my cousins were about two and four. My mom comes from a large family — she’s one of seven — and although many relatives lived nearby, Aunt Kay Kay and her boys had been living in Maryland, so it was rare that we saw them. When they moved in, it felt like our household grew instantly into a small, bustling community.
Aunt Kay Kay had been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and bringing her and her children into our home was both a practical choice and an act of love. My mom, an attorney then working long hours to make partner, needed help at home. Having Aunt Kay Kay there meant she could support my mom by caring for us after school, cooking dinner most nights, and sitting with us while we did homework. At the same time, my aunt benefited from the family support and companionship. It made practical sense and it filled our home with warmth and laughter.
Growing up in a house with four kids close in age — all born within about five years — was chaotic, joyful, and formative. Those early years shaped who I am. My aunt’s laugh was a constant soundtrack. She was the warm, gentle presence in the house; I became “the bossy one” as the oldest among mostly boys, my brother Daniel earned the label “the smart one,” Darius was “the funny one,” David was “the wild one,” and my mom was affectionately known as “the strict one.” When we wanted permission to do something, my aunt was usually who we asked first because she was so approachable and kind.
We made all kinds of memories: forts in the woods, outrageous sock fights, and even karate tournaments in New York City. I can still picture one tournament day — Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right — when we felt like a team and we really did kick some butt that day. Those moments taught us teamwork, resilience, and how to find joy in small, messy adventures.
Aunt Kay Kay fought her illness with courage and a constant sense of humor. Over the years she moved from a cane to a walker to a wheelchair, and for the last decade she was mostly bedridden. None of that stopped her from smiling or from laughing at the little things — like when we’d place Burger or Clara (our pets) with her in bed; she’d always giggle. She was, without a doubt, one of the strongest, bravest, and kindest people I’ve ever known.
Yesterday she passed away. It was an incredibly sad day for our family. Writing this isn’t meant to be a mournful post so much as a tribute to how deeply she influenced our lives. I wanted to record what it was like to grow up with her in our home — for my own memory and so someday Clara can read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay. Thinking about her bright smile and the way she could light up a room brings me comfort and a warm nostalgia for carefree mornings around the breakfast table.
We’ll be back this afternoon with regular DIY posts and home projects, but for now I’ll simply say this: take a moment to reach out to the people you love. Call, text, or visit them if you can. Family is a true blessing, and I’m profoundly grateful for the one I have.