And now for a bonus Friday afternoon post — a little treat to end the week. On average I get about five messages a day asking if I’m pregnant or confidently “calling it” through comments, email, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, or even carrier pigeon. That adds up to answering the same question roughly 150 times a month and more than 1,800 times over the past year. The pregnancy speculation even spills into comment threads on posts that have nothing to do with babies, like room updates and infographic tours. Apparently the bump-watch is real around here — we haven’t seen that level of scrutiny since 2010.
Let me clear up one small but important detail right away: I’m not pregnant. My womb is currently uninhabited.
It’s genuinely touching that so many of you are excited at the thought of our family growing. That enthusiasm means a lot. But because of what we’ve been through before — if you want the full context, there’s a detailed account of Clara’s birth story I’ve shared publicly — nothing is guaranteed. Any future pregnancy for us would be considered high risk, and there would be a meaningful chance of repeating the life-threatening complication Clara experienced. That reality factors heavily into our timing and how we approach the idea of trying for another child. It also makes the constant “are you pregnant?” messages a little harder to handle day after day.
I know the people asking are usually well-intentioned — in fact, your excitement often feels like a warm hug — but asking someone whether they’re pregnant can be delicate for several reasons:
- It can imply you think they’ve gained weight. Sometimes I simply have a food baby from an amazing burrito, not an actual baby.
- It can unintentionally hurt someone who is struggling with infertility or has experienced miscarriage. While I haven’t personally faced those challenges so far, they are realities for many people and could be for me in the future.
- It can put someone in a difficult spot if they are pregnant but not ready to share the news publicly. That will likely happen to many of us at one point or another, and privacy matters.
So consider this my gentle, uterus-centered public service announcement: when the time is right — if and when we are blessed with another little one — I promise you will hear it from us. We’ll share the news once we reach the milestone where it feels safe for our family to celebrate publicly. When that happens, we’ll be so excited it will be impossible to keep it quiet. There might even be another t-shirt in it for Burger if we’re feeling cheeky.
Until then, please know that even though you won’t be among the very first people we tell (family gets those early hugs and phone calls), you’ll hear the news straight from us when the moment comes. For now, picture me enjoying life as it is: savoring a glass of wine, treating myself to sushi, and relishing the freedom of non-pregnant days. I’m surrounded by the people I love — my loyal pup, my nail-gun-wielding husband, and our little miracle girl, who can already sing along to an alarming number of Adam Levine songs.
Thank you so much for your understanding and kindness. I can’t wait to see what the future brings, and I truly appreciate that everyone’s intentions are good. Please be gentle with one another in the comments — everyone cares, even if the questions sometimes come from a place of excitement rather than awareness. In the meantime, the world can keep marveling at other famous baby bumps if that helps satisfy the curiosity. Where, exactly, is Princess Kate hiding hers? I’ll never forget how, when I was around 20 weeks, my belly had already eclipsed the view of my feet — so I can only admire any superior baby-hiding skills that come from royal lineage.